Bomb Threat Christmas

from Bigger Than Santa: 12 Christmas Songs in 12 Christmas Days by Fortress of Attitude

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lyrics

On Christmas morning all the packages were opened
And I'd gotten everything for which I had been hoping
but there was one strange package left lying all alone
mom and dad didn't know where it came from so they picked up the phone

and called the FBI
and that is why

It was a bomb threat Christmas
and everybody misses
the point of Christmas when they're scared
It's hard to protect us
but tell me what the heck is
the point of gifts if they're not shared

The package might be ready to blow
so get under the mistle toe
and kiss me goodbye

The captain asked my dad who might mean to do him harm
He said “My mother in law has always been immune to my charms”
The bomb dogs started barking, they detected something wrong
and my mom said, “We're expecting company, I hope this won't take long.”

And now the local news
Is waiting on the fuse

As the robot arm moved in we heard the doorbell ring
There were Christmas carolers singing if you see something say something

When the arm opened the package we were all surprised because
Inside was a plaquard that said “Peace on Earth” and the card said “Santa Claus”

Chorus

And if you're feeling anxious from all the stress that Christmas brings
Maybe a Bomb threat Christmas will make you give thanks for the little things

credits

from Bigger Than Santa: 12 Christmas Songs in 12 Christmas Days, released December 13, 2012

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Fortress of Attitude New York, New York

Comedy rock from NYC.

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