(Guy)
I've been late at night
trying out a dating site
and I got a couple gripes
about the things that these girls write
Think it's time to shed some light
There's a girl with just one pic
It's a pic that's got three chicks
I don't know which one she is
Is she the hot one that looks pissed
Or she the one whose got the cyst?
(Girl)
Don't complain about the chicks
Cause the guys that I deal with
Love to take their shirtless pics
And they think what I want is
Closeup pictures of their dicks
(Guy)
Girls say sometimes they stay in
And sometimes they go out
Well no shit
(Girl)
Guys say their self-employed
But that means unemployed
Get a job
(Guy)
Some girls say their favorite show
Is Netflix and HBO.
Well neither one of them is shows
And whose that guy in your photos?
Is he your brother, ex, or both?
(Girl)
Entourage and Charlie Sheen
Is what guys list for TV
This makes girls sick, can't you see
Your survey answers frighten me
Won't be your graveyard fantasy
(Guy)
I go crazy when girls write
"I don't know about this site"
Then get off!
(Girl)
Guys all lie about their height
You're not really six-foot-five
I call bullshit
(Guy)
Girls can't live without their cheese and Chapstick
(Girl)
Guys just treat this like an escort site
(Together)
We're old and this is too hard
We're already friends,
we won't do any better
Let's just date
I get along with you
You get along with me
That's good enough
Everybody go offline
And just date your friends
It's easier
And when I've fucked all of my friends
And you've fucked all of your friends
Then we'll die
